THE ANTI-UNICORN SONG
(c) copyright 1991 W.J.Bethancourt III
(Tune: "Broad Black Brimmer")
There's a unicorn that's hangin' from a noose in Father's room
A unicorn that's hung there for a while
Its rancid and its stinkin' and its finally met its doom
And we've done it in in truly Glascow style!
They say the thing's endangered, a species on the wane
But Daddy killed it with a happy smile!
And scoopin' up behind it was such a bloody pain
And virgins have for long been out of style!
CHORUS: Its just a stone-dead unicorn a-hangin' from a noose
And stinkin' like a Glascow barkeep's breath //P-U!//
We'll grind it up for dogfood and we'll put it to some use;
The stupid thing has finally met its death!
The flies are buzzin' round it, you can hear their happy hum
When the birdies sing awake the early morn
The neighbors ceased to riot
There was finally peace and quiet
When Daddy killed the bloody unicorn!
It used to follow Sister Sue, 'till she discovered boys,
And no longer met the necessary test
It kept us all awake at nights with bloody bleatin' noise
And never would allow us any rest
One evening Daddy went berserk, and cut its stupid throat
And watched it bleed its bloody life away
Then we hung it in the closet; we hung it there to gloat
And its been quiet since that happy day!
