THE BANE OF THE COUNTY DOWN
(c) copyright 1991 W.J. Bethancourt
(Tune: "Star Of The County Down")
Near Banbridge town in the County Down
One morning last July
Down a boreen green came a keen colleen
And she smiled as she passed me by.
She looked so sweet from her two left feet
And her neat little pretty crossed eyes
With a wart on her nose and a run in her hose
She was scaring the passers-by!
CHORUS: From Bantry Bay up to Derry Quay
And from Galway to Dublin town,
No maid I've met could scare me yet
Like the girl from the County Down!
She'd one yellow eye and a look so sly
And a nose like the rose in bloom
And you winced at each note from her wattled throat
As she murdered an Irish tune
At the pattern dance you were held in a trance
As she fell to the floor in a jig,
And out by the well you couldn't tell
This girl from the farmer's pig!
Such an ugly sow, she aborted cows
And she curdled the milk in the jar
And it was sure death for to smell her breath
For it melted the high road's tar!
The flowers died and the babies cried
And the green grass all turned brown
The dogs all howled and the cats all yowled
At the girl from the County Down!
As she onward sped sure I scratched my head
For she gave me a flea-bite there
And I says, says I, to a passer by,
"Who's the pig with the bugs in her hair?"
He smiled at me and he said, said he,
"That's the rust on Ireland's crown!
That's Molly Magee!" and he spit on me,
"She's the Bane Of The County Down!"
At the harvest fair she'll be surely there,
With her zits and her runny nose
With her toothless grin and her double chin
Hunting husbands, I suppose!
I was terrified so I ran and cried
And the seat of my pants turned brown!
I've ne'er seen quite such a frightening sight
As the girl from the County Down!
